Multi System Organ Failure for Fun and Profit

'Nubs

2008-08-20T18:55:00.001-07:00

I met a vet from an ancient land
Who said: Nine vast and knuckleless nubs of rot
Stand in the desert ... Near them, on the sheets,
Half sunk, a gnawed thumb lines, whose chewy bits,
And wrinkled skin, and crook of cold command,
Tell that its culinary well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The finger that mocked them, and the heart that fed:
And on the vitals sheet these words appear:
"My name is 'Nubs, king of kings:
Look on my stumps ye mighty and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The ragged and eroded knobs inch closer to their doom.

Bedside surgery

2008-08-17T07:30:00.001-07:00

Diabetic Foot Ulcer

Don't get diabetes. If you do get diabetes, for the love of god, don't let me be the one in charge of your care.

Word-of-the-Day

2008-08-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

Foible

"What fatal foible led Ahab to leave Starbuck's caution unheeded."

Word-of-the-Day

2008-08-03T17:21:00.001-07:00

Ineluctable

"Your scrabble rout at my hands was ineluctable."

Word-of-the-Day

2008-07-30T18:43:00.000-07:00

Monitist

"I may be a monitist, but at least I'm not as procrumpulent as you!"

Word-of-the-Day

2008-07-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

Nosocomial

"A good way to prevent nosocomial infections is to change gloves in between rectals."

DrCujo's Word-of-the-Day

2008-07-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

Legerdemain

It is a well known fact that my formidable lexicon wins friends and frightens enemies. I have come to realize that the hoi polloi could use some direction in this area.

As such, I have started a new column over to the right---------->
Try not to use this power for evil...

My best friend

2008-07-06T09:39:00.001-07:00

This is a recent email I received:

John P... to me 5:02 AM (7 hours ago)
Nice view. Did I mention that your excitement over time graph was awesome. That said, I was somewhat perplexed by the massive increase in excitement when you realized that you had 8 more hours to work. Seriously, it seems to represent glancing at your watch, realizing that you have an entire 'working joe' shift left to complete and raising your excitement from "Having ascended from your dive, you realize that you scuba group has left for home, leaving you three miles offshore in shark infested waters," to "you have inoperable cervical cancer, which is nuts, because you're a dude." What would it take to get you to "meh." I am a bit worried about you. I think that you need a break, and I personally prescribe more sierra nevada. This would have went in your comment section, but I am hammered and do not want to leave a public record of my drunkenness. If you copy and paste this fully on to your blog, you will be sued...with extreme prejudice.

Let me highlight for you the salient features of this email:

........... 5:02 AM .......... ........................................ but I am hammered....................

A view from my prison

2008-07-05T17:43:00.001-07:00

Crummy weather

I'm on hour 14. I've got 16 more to go. Luckily the gnomes are good conversationalists.

By popular demand

2008-07-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

Magnepan 2.5R

So a lot people (read: one) have asked about the speakers. Unlike a conventional cone driver, planar-magnetic driver stretches a thin electric membrane (e.g. aluminum) over a magnetic field (e.g. permanent bar magnets). When electricity is passed through the membrane it vibrates within the magnetic field. There are two immediate advantages: (1) the mass of the ribbon (it is often < 0.005" thick) is significantly less than a traditional cone; and (2) the driving force is applied across the entire surface of the diaphragm--unlike cone speakers where the driving force is applied to the tip of the cone and the entire cone has to react. This allows a system to be extremely "rigid"(the entire manifold moves in concert) and lightweight--avoiding such exotics as diamond and berrylium(!) tweeters.

The picture above is annotated to show the ribbon tweeter (red square) which handles the high frequencies and the mylar diaphragm (blue square) which handles the mid-low frequencies.

The long coat

2008-07-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. I'm questioning my clinical decision making, my technical skills, my 'people' skills. Mostly, I'm questioning my decision to skip lunch.

A room with a view

2008-06-29T19:03:00.001-07:00

The inside

2008-06-29T19:02:00.001-07:00

Stereo setup

2008-06-29T19:01:00.001-07:00

Man Crush

2008-06-25T16:46:00.000-07:00

Atul Gawande

The WHO launched their "Safe Surgery Saves Lives" initiative in D.C. today; unfortunately, I was too busy learning the intricacies of Virginia's insurance system to be able to attend. To say that I love Atul Gawande would not be an entirely inaccurate, nor an entirely heterosexual, statement. If you haven't read Better or Complications, you really owe it to yourself to take some time at the B&N. One of my personal favorites is The Bell Curve, about cystic fibrosis and the egalitarian notion that all doctors are created equal (I don't want to ruin the ending for you--but they're not).

When Gawande was assigned to lead the WHO, I was ecstatic. I could hardly imagine what amazing solutions he would come up with--maybe some sort of box with mirrors. So after two years, what'd he get? A checklist[pdf]. In truth, I'm a little dissapointed. I guess when you win $500,000 you can start phoning it in.

Billy the Billdad

2008-06-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

Saltipiscator falcorostratus

Billy enjoys hopping, migrating to warmer climes, and eluding Maine's lumberjacks. Each leg has three degrees of freedom for maximum hopping power.

If you'd like to make your own mythical creature, check out spore.

On the road 'gain

2008-06-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

2008-06-18T12:01:00.000-07:00

The Score Report

2008-06-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

The dream team

2008-06-18T04:53:00.000-07:00

nba.com

The Bowers & Wilkins 800D--you know, with the diamond tweeter and all?
Harman Kardon AVR 745--purists may argue that you should get a separate pre-pro and an amp, but I really like HK's stuff; plus it still has pre-outs if you want to connect outboard amps.
av123's MFW-15--chances are you're not going to need this what with the 800's giant woofers, but you never know when you'll need to violate the sound ordinances in your apartment building.

A gift

2008-06-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

The cerebral vasculature is beautiful. This is an etching I made using one of Vesalius's drawings as a stencil. The idea is wholly credited to John Lucas. He has several other very professional etchings up for sale.

This is a gift for my mentor.

Some excellent beers

2008-06-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

Sierra Nevada Porter	$4	If Sierra made a poop flavored beer, I'd still drink it.
Xingu Black	$4	Its color belies a surprisingly light beer.
Young's Double Choclate Stout	$6	Is there another word for delicious?

The opportunity cost of war

2008-06-16T06:36:00.000-07:00

The Physiologist. 50(24)

There's a physician that scuttles about our hallways with a bit of a limp and some of the most severe kyphosis this side of the Mississippi. She's seventy years old, and has been funded by the NIH for close to forty years. Someday (in the not too distant future) she would have likely turned to dust along one of her treks on our campus.

That's not going to happen anymore--she lost her funding. Check out the FY 2008 senate address from Dr. Zerhouni, director of NIH.

The retrovolution

2008-06-14T06:06:00.000-07:00

Used turntable on craigslist	$25
New Shure cartridge	$47
Musichall MM/MC phono preamp	$60
Listening to Warrant on vinyl	Priceless

What's in a name?

2008-06-12T17:39:00.000-07:00

One of the many patients to whom I gave mediocre care was packing to go home. She wanted to thank everyone on the team (she was likely delirious). As I was taking care of another patient at the time, she innocently inquired, "Where's Dr. Cujo?"

SPM: Statistical Parametric Mapping

2008-06-12T17:37:00.001-07:00

There's nothing quite like the general linear model to help you obsess over some blobs on the screen. Under the projects section you will see some old projects; unfortunately, it is unlikely that I will continue to actively develop them. I will, of course, be happy to lend any help if you need it--with the PSPM in particular.